We’re often told to be honest but while valued in most situations, too much honesty can sometimes offend. Sometimes comments are better left unsaid, or opinions kept to yourself; sometimes they’re required. Here are some clues to help you get it right!
You know you’re not supposed to comment on your girlfriend’s weight, or tell her that her friends are hot. And you know she probably feels the same way you do about the phrase, “Can we still be friends?”
Sometimes what you say in an attempt to defuse tension in an argument often makes things worse. The female psyche can be complicated, and perhaps the following might assist in demystifying her wrath, over what you thought was a perfectly innocent remark.
Here are 10 things most women don’t want to hear:
1. “What did you do to your hair?”
Unless we’ve cut our own hair — this is not common — someone else did something to our hair. It wasn’t us & we’ve probably gone to a lot of trouble and expense for that new look. “I like your new haircut” is infinitely better and shows you’re paying attention to her appearance. It’s also far superior to the generic “You look different,” which tells us you’re as clueless as ever.
2. “They both look the same to me.”
We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the soft furnishings we’re asking you to compare. But they can’t look exactly the same, can they? There must be something about one that’s more pleasing to the eye for you so just give an opinion/comment. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don’t worry about your vision — or worse, think that you don’t care!
Almost as bad as “Don’t get so worked up” this generally creates the exact opposite effect you’re aiming for. When you say “Relax,” what we hear is that you think that we’re being irrational over nothing and this makes us do anything but relax.
4. “I’ve got it all under control.”
Ha! Famous last words. Avoid using this phrase if you don’t want us to take fiendish delight in getting lost because you won’t stop for directions (if we’re late, because of this, not the fact that we were late getting ready) there will be hell to pay), or because you’re missing a piece to your flat-pack furniture because you said you didn’t need to read the assembly instructions beforehand.
5. “You’re not one of those feminists, are you?”
Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity. Although giving up your seat on public transport if you think someone is pregnant could result in the same issue as the following item!
6. “When are you due?”
Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, “I’m not pregnant,” or “I had the baby six months ago,” and you’ll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent — even considerate — curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there’s just no way to recover from this one.
7. “You’re being emotional.”
It is a fact that women think more emotionally than men & in the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you’re better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question — “Is it your time of month?” — to yourself.
8. “You’re acting just like my ex-girlfriend.”
An ex should be mentioned sparingly and never in comparison with your current lady. No matter if we are behaving like her, it’s not intentional – after all, why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope – now you’ve added the possibility of suspicion into our mind!
9. “You complete me.”
We’ve seen “Jerry Maguire” and most other romantic comedies much more than you and while we may (or may not) like cheesy movie lines, they usually fail in real life. We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man’s mouth, but rather than get caught out rehashing a movie line, try to keep the compliments real, honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.
10. “Do you really think you should be eating that?”
Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you previously that she’s given it up.