Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus – are we really THAT different?

There’s a well known book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, but WHY do men and women seem to view the world from completely different perspectives, as if they’re from separate planets?

We often hear women say they don’t understand men and vice versa, but is the battle of the sexes real? After all, women often exhibit masculine qualities and men demonstrate a feminine side; aren’t we all a little bit of both? Of course there are no hard and fast rules that apply to everyone. However, in general, women are viewed as more emotional and sensitive, primarily concerned with communication and relationships, whereas men are known for being cool, inexpressive, physical and sexual, with a propensity to try to fix things, or resolve issues in a logical, matter of fact manner.

Men and women DO have different physiological components, i.e. brain patterns and chemistry; there are 78 genes in the Y chromosome that are different from those in the X chromosome, not to mention hormonal differences caused by the different levels of oestrogen and testosterone. Characteristically, men tend to process things logically, in black and white, whereas women do so sentimentally, in the grey area.

Society teaches men “big boys don’t cry”, ‘be tough,’ ‘take it like a man’. Anger is permitted but any evidence of a softer side is taboo. Yet look behind the strong facade and you’ll find someone stinging with the same insecurities, jealousy, hurt, and fear that women possess. Perhaps if men were encouraged to convey their full range of emotions, there’d be a lot less warring between individuals, as well as nations.

Women increase their esteem from keeping the family together, thriving in love and intimacy, whereas a man’s worth appears tied to his financial success. Consequently, the man may have to be more accountable and tolerate more in the workplace, as he can’t afford to leave or be fired from his job. Although things are changing, with more women having successful careers and some men choosing to stay at home with the children, traditionally, women still have to give birth and men really have little choice but to go to work and build a career.

These scenarios can often transfer to dating, where a man may feel interrogated by a lot of questions, especially regarding economic status. Women are notoriously attracted to success and if the guy wants to be appealing, his value often seemingly depends on being an achiever. A woman’s innocent interest in a man’s residence, career, or car, can brand her a gold digger.

Consider that the reason she’s asking about your livelihood isn’t her desire to find a sugar daddy but an honesty curiosity into what makes you tick and what’s meaningful for you. Since men are so work oriented, they consider initial dates as a job interview, which in some sense is quite accurate. Men try to sell themselves, hoping to land the position of ‘mate.’ On the other hand, a man’s enquiries into a woman’s former marriage(s) or children may cause defensiveness on her part, for fear he’ll label her a failure, as her identity is linked to flourishing familial relationships.

Men are visual; women verbal. When a man sees someone alluring, he responds physically; women react emotionally. That’s why after making love, men can fall asleep, feeling fulfilled, while women want to continue the connection, through talking, touching, cuddling. Women fall faster; men harder. Women will speak of being in love after having sex once or twice: men just use those terms after knowing you on a deeper level. Men tend to be loners and go to a party alone or with a mate, Women are inclined to mix in groups.

If you’ve ever wondered why it’s difficult to get your guy to communicate with more than a grunt during his favourite sports program, while women can simultaneously watch TV, talk and do other activities? It’s because women are comfortable multi-tasking, whereas men prefer focusing on a single item.

Women have better memories for details, whereas men often forget birthdays and anniversaries. Men find comfort in solving problems and try to find solutions to their partners quandaries, even when they’re not looking for advice! Men try to resolve the problem, when it suffices for the women to be heard and acknowledged. Rather than trying to fix the dilemma presented, men can work wonders by practising active listening and subsequently being seen as understanding and caring.

Men and women also have different time clocks! If a woman doesn’t hear from you within a day or two, it’s like an eternity to her, but to a man it’s merely minutes. If a guy waits several days to call, she’s likely to have already built up irritation and resentment, evident by her tone of voice. Conversely, he can’t comprehend why she’s upset, given that to him, it’s only a short period of time that’s passed. Take into account that when a man doesn’t call you back right away, it may have nothing to do with you. He may simply be sorting out his thoughts as they do on Mars.

But, no matter Whether from Mars or Venus, we’re all looking to love and be loved.

Sponsored:

Be Safe when Dating Online

online dating app mobile phoneYou’re probably aware of how to keep yourself safe online, but in order to help you out a little, we thought we would remind you of those golden rules to follow to make dating online as safe a place as possible.

Follow these few simple check points and you’ll have nothing to worry about!

Passwords

Choose a password that you can easily remember but would be difficult for anyone else to guess. Names are easy, but just as easy for someone who knows you to guess too!

Personal information

Many dating websites have a wonderful messaging system which means you don’t need to give out any contact information at all until you’re happy to. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you’d rather stick to talking online for a little longer. If they’re sincere then they won’t have a problem.

Scammers

If someone you barely know asks to borrow money or asks for any sort of financial details whatsoever, then alarm bells should start to ring. You wouldn’t expect someone you met in the bar last week to ask you for money, and you shouldn’t expect it online either. However nice or in a bad way they may seem, never feel pressured to help.

Personal safety

The bottom line is that you should always stay in control. Meet in a public place, tell someone when and where you’re going, and arrange to call them at a given time to confirm it’s going well. If your date is worthy, they’ll completely understand.

love heart handsDon’t panic!

The vast majority of people you meet online will be genuine people just like you, who are simply looking for a date or some friendship. As long as you follow the golden rules and take care – we’re sure you’ll have fun!

Sponsored:

Is It Really True That Opposites Attract?

Man and woman on a dateOr is it just an old wives tale?

It’s nigh on impossible to meet someone who likes everything that you do and, anyway, would you not want your partner to have some different interests that they can either do by themselves, or introduce you to?

However, dating someone who shares none of the interests or beliefs/personality traits that you do, is surely a recipe for failure!!!

A recent study, published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, says when it comes to personality, people seek partners with their same qualities, but SAY they want someone who is different!

They seem to believe that people with opposite traits make for loving couples, but this new study is not supporting that belief.

To reach the conclusion, researchers quizzed 760 members of an online dating site to answer questionnaires regarding their personality traits, as well as the traits they would want in an ideal long-term partner. They then were asked if they most wanted a partner that complemented them, or resembled them.

The answers showed a preference for someone with the same sort of personality; the traits, which included neuroticism, extraversion, openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness, all had positive participant-to-partner correlations, ranging from .51 to .62.

“When asked about their preferences for a mate, people may partially draw upon lay theories of man and woman on a dateromantic attraction rather than their true desires for a mate,” Live Science quoted Pieternel Dijkstra, a professor at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands and the study’s lead researcher, as saying.

“Although many individuals occasionally feel attracted to ”opposites,” attractions between opposites often do not develop into serious intimate relationships and, when they do, these relationships often end prematurely,”

The study also found that in addition to looking for a similar partner, women wanted men who were conscientious, outgoing, and emotionally stable, all traits that indicate an investment in the relationship and in any potential children.

However, “there were no particular traits that men seemed to prefer more than women,” Dijkstra said.

It seems that people are telling themselves that they think opposites should attract, but perhaps this well worn phrase should be completely discounted? Or perhaps it can relate to looks rather than personality?!

Sponsored:

Find Your Soul Mate With Free Dating Services Online

Free online dating providers expand choices

People have the opportunity to connect with those they might never meet in any other situation with free dating providers online. To start, applicants will enter personal information like their age, sex, and preferences. This also includes info about the type of person in which they might want get in touch with with.

Individuals might e-mail each other with free dating services online, but they can often interact through web cam or instant messaging. An appropriate mode of personal contact is usually create from there.

Use a list of preferences to narrow down the search

A list of likes and dislikes makes it feasible to narrow down those that might be potential matches, allowing the seeker to only look at those that may be the more likely viable candidates. It may be a preference of race, weight, hair color, religion, and more.

Social networking web sites are different from those offering free dating. Free dating websites can have different choices. What’s different is that social networking web sites allow casual interaction. A narrowing down of what is preferred by a user, in addition towards the type of individuals they chat with and what sites they visit is offered.

You will find many online dating sites and for someone new to online dating it might be an advantage to try out more than one web site. Just simply because Peter was capable to discover a site that works, doesn’t imply it is going to be the same for Paul.

Check out all of the free dating services online and get an understanding of how it may work.

Have guidelines for your search

Those that choose to date online need to have a few guidelines in place.

  1. Make sure that your interests are specific.
  2. Maintain a positive attitude.
  3. Be honest about what yoe desire and find attractive in a potential date.

Do not settle. This will help maintain disappointments to a minimum.

Online dating is a chance to widen the dating horizon.

 

Getting over a relationship break up

We’ve all been there – the tears, the anger, the hollow empty feeling in the pit of your stomach and the overwhelming feeling that you will never fall in love again.

No matter how irrational it may sound – you can’t help thinking that this relationship was your one true love, the big thing, the “one” & you are absolutely sure that no-one that you meet from now on could possibly touch your heart in the same way your ex did. They were the love of your life & your last chance for true love and these feelings can be further compounded if you were married – after all, they promised you they’d be around forever, didn’t they?

But although it’s natural to feel a whole range of negative emotions after a break-up, don’t wallow in bitterness forever; that should be a phase to be worked through, not a lifestyle choice. If you hold every person you meet accountable for what one person in the past did to make you unhappy, you will miss out on many enjoyable relationships. Not only that, but every person is different, so try not to superimpose your exes reactions/habits/behaviour over a new partner.This can definitely be the case if you try to get back into dating too soon i.e. on the rebound. The new people you meet can then just be the recipient of all your anger & bitterness about your ex, but they’ve done nothing to you, so why take it out on them?!

So, how to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, start putting them back together & enjoy the benefits of being a single person again?

The first thing you need to do is to try and ascertain whereabouts you are in the healing process.

  1. Feelings of shock, confusion, betrayal and self doubt
    You don’t understand how everything went so wrong. Everything seemed to be going ok & it all just fell apart. I thought we were happy, where did it go wrong? What did I do wrong? Why didn’t he/she feel the same as me? Why couldn’t he/she see what they were doing was hurting me so much? You’re bound to feel an overwhelming range of different emotions at this time, even if you were the one doing the breaking up. Either way, you just lost someone who you thought was going to be around for a lot longer than they were – it’s natural to panic and get upset.
  2. Blame yourself and be miserable
    This usually happens a day or two after the break up. You can’t even get yourself off the sofa, let alone think about doing anything constructive or thinking rationally. Instead, you start wringing your hands and wishing that you could have said or done something differently. You start doubting why you ended it & thinking that maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. You drown yourself in wine, chocolate, crying etc. It’s ok to grieve for your relationship, just don’t let it spiral out of control; accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. (Easier said than done, I know) After a few days of indulging in your misery, it’s time to move on to stage three.
  3. Clear out your life
    Pack up any photos and objects that remind you of your ex. Box them up and chuck them in the loft, or at the back of the cupboard – it’s possible at a later point in your life that you’ll be able to look back at them with fondness – but not now; all they will do is keep your head & heart in the past & extend stage 2 for longer than necessary. Make a list of things you’ve been meaning to do – it might be a hobby that you really enjoyed, but haven’t had a chance to do lately because your partner didn’t like it. Think of all that spare time you have to enjoy, now that you aren’t putting all your energy into trying to save a failing relationship!
  4. Get your act together! 
    Smarten yourself up a bit. Make an effort. All the misery and slobbing around at home is starting to make you unattractive! Get some exercise, a haircut and some new clothes. Present the best version of yourself possible, even looking at yourself in the mirror & telling yourself you look good will boost your self esteem no end. Give your friends a call and get back out on the town – they’ll be more than happy to see a bit more of you!
  5. Get yourself out there! 
    You may not feel like getting seriously involved with anyone else at the moment, but why do relationships have to be that way? You don’t have to dive headlong into a full on relationship, just because that’s what you remember! Surely new liaisons don’t always have to lead to everlasting love to be worthwhile having? Date around a bit – go out with your single friends more and cast your net a little further by giving online dating a try – you’ll get outside of your normal circle, meet people you could never have hoped to meet in life – and best of all, they’re unlikely to know your ex!!!

Dating people is one of the plusses of being single – you can go out and have fun with a different person every night without feeling guilty. There really is no need to fall into the ‘single and lonely’ category these days! If you have been in a relationship for so long that you’ve forgotten how to date – don’t worry – one of the benefits of dating online is that you can progress the relationship in your own time and really get to know about the person before you meet them.

So once you’ve broke up, been miserable, glamed up and got back in the dating game, you’ll soon find that the old adage is true – there are plenty of fish in the sea after all.

Guidelines For Girls About Web-Based Dating

There are certain things that ladies should not do while engaged in a web based relationship with a guy. These things are sure to put a fast and absolute end to any further communications with him.

When chatting online or by e mail never write your own life story.  His eyes would glaze over and he’ll fall out of his chair.  Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details. Then provide them little by little and only answer the questions he asks for.

For example:  If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them.  He actually simply wishes to know how many you have. Say you’ve got 2 (or whatever is true) then ask how many he has.  For each question he asks you, it is best to ask one of him. Nothing turns a person off like a very long- winded lady who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

By no means, ever, EVER lie.  I really believe that lies could catch up with you sooner or later.  Many women (and men) lie regarding their age, marital status, job, height, weight and a bunch of other things in their internet profiles.  That is a huge mistake.  If you find a man who you are really thinking about, he will find out you lied and there goes any chance of the relationship progressing.  So, just be honest.  There’s somebody out there who will like you – even come to love you – for exactly the person you are.

Don’t be too eager.  It makes you look desperate and it actually puts a man off.  They’re first and foremost conquerors and if getting the particular person of their wishes to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest.  I do not mean play “hard-to-get”.  I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting.  Do not e mail them or IM them too often.  Play it safe and play it cool.

With a little good luck you would meet a very good guy.

How to Create the Perfect Dating Profile

Our Customer Care Team have read thousands of dating profiles and have seen the good, the bad and the ugly! We thought we would share a few tips to help create that perfect dating profile.

  1. Avoid starting with a negative; your dating profile should be about the positives that you have to offer as this is your chance to shine and to sell yourself. Mentioning bad dates, or that no one wants you, or you’ve been hurt in the past is going to send people straight on to the next profile. Although we might all have some, advertising your baggage is a real turnoff, so keep it positive! Make them want to get to know more about you.
  2. Stay away from the following words in your profile: loyal, trustworthy, caring and honest! After all, the majority of us would like to think we have these characteristics and it’s generally a given that you are looking to find someone with them too. We’ve read these words too many times in profiles and it’s not really the way you’d describe yourself normally. At no point would you meet a perfect stranger and introduce yourself by saying “Hi I’m a trustworthy, honest and loyal person”, so why include this in your profile, as it doesn’t give the reader any real information about who you are?!
  3. Tell members something different so you stand out from the crowd. You don’t want to write the same profile as everyone else, so be descriptive. You are unique and your profile should be too. If you have a hobby, interest or something you enjoy, include this in your profile. It’s a great conversation starter. If you love to travel, include your favourite places you’ve been to. If you enjoy music, mention a band or artist you have been to see recently or would like to see. This way you are letting members know some common-ground that you may share. There are thousands of other profiles on the site & if you don’t write anything interesting about yourself, how will anyone else find you interesting enough to contact?
  4. Keep the profile short; it doesn’t need to be a novel! Your profile should be an interesting & intriguing insight into who you are, so they want to find out more from you. Don’t tell your entire life story in your profile, or there’s no reason for them to contact you. Shorten your profile to a simple, chunky paragraph with enough information to spark their curiosity.
  5. Spelling is important! Most sites don’t come with a built-in spell or grammar check, so write your profile in a Word document first and then copy and paste this over. You wouldn’t send a CV to a potential employer littered with spelling mistakes, so why upload a profile for a potential partner riddled with them! Something as simple as spelling could result in someone moving on to the next profile.
  6. Don’t lie about anything in your profile, as the truth always comes out at some point and no matter how small the lie may be, it could affect a future relationship. There is someone out there who is perfect for you, just the way you are.
  7. Remember, you can edit and update your profile as often as you want, so keep it fresh and up to date with what’s going on in your life. If you’re not too sure what to write about yourself, ask friends or family how they would describe you. Above all, have fun writing your profile. If you enjoy writing it then someone will enjoy reading it!

Bear the above in mind when writing your profile & you will hopefully find there’s much more interest in you from other members.

 

How to Learn Confidence around Women

Man and Woman kissingDo you know how to become more confident when courting a woman?  Or are you feeling that she is in the power position because you will have some primary lack of confidence? Do you wish that you could display the same air of self-control that she does?  Here’s a guide to help you to develop your confidence when dating a woman.

It’s about the way you carry yourself.

Many men don’t really know what confidence is.  They confuse confidence with arrogance.  However confidence is just the peace of mind that you can behave properly in any given circumstance.  It doesn’t imply that you’ve a huge ego.

Attraction Transformation teaches any man how to have rock-solid confidence around women.

Men with confidence move easily through the world. For example, a confident man can go into a situation where he’s underdressed and not let it bother him.  He simply makes the proper moves to slot in even though his clothes aren’t exactly perfect for the situation.

It’s about keeping her happy.

It’s also good to get some idea about how to keep a woman happy

Discuss with your date what you find attractive in each other.  Set aside some time to spend speaking about why you find her such an important catch.

This can be a true ego booster! 

Before you plan doing this, take some time to come up with some good reason why you’re keen on her.  Women are usually better at this kind of stuff off the cuff, so be ready ahead of time.  When courting a girl, you should be sure to seek out some things you like and love about her.  Take them into consideration and discuss them with her.  Then, after you share, she’s going to like you more.

What an ego  and confidence booster.

It’s about a feeling of security in a relationship.

Your ambition appeals to her need for security.  In the end, we’ve to get down to why women need a confident man.

Women have a biological drive to find males who will provide effectively for her offspring.

A confident man has the aura that he’ll have the ability to provide for a family.

Whereas this is not going on at a conscious level, it’s operating there in the background of all relationships.  So, when dating a girl, give her every reason to think you’ll care for the children even if neither of you are excited about becoming parents any time soon.

Conclusion

So there you may have it.  When courting a girl, confidence is your most powerful tool.

Join A Free Online Dating Website

Thanks towards the technological advancement of the Internet we can now access a worldwide network of available singles via dating free websites. In days gone by the average person had to look for a partner in the local region where they lived and worked. Today the world is really a global village and you can seek farther afield for that ideal partner.

Some people aren’t lucky enough to find a love interest in their local area, but instead of fear that they will never discover that special someone they can now do some thing about this fact. Instead of leaving points to chance, they can join a dating website that grants them access to millions of singles, all for free!

Signing up is free and it is also really easy, generally only requiring an e-mail address and your preferred password. You’ll need to create a user profile to ensure that other browsing singles is going to be able to see info about you, but this is generally a logical and simple procedure.

Upload a current, obvious photograph of yourself and fill in the fundamental info, like age, your height, weight, hair color and so forth. You might also be asked to fill in info on the sort of partner you’re looking for. Most dating websites have a match making function that may narrow your search criteria down to some specific group, so be certain to list your choices.

Some may not recognize the importance of first impressions on a dating website. With just the click of a button a prospective user can cycle through the whole database of other members. This means that the image you location in your profile is your only real introduction as, one has to remember, beauty is within the eye with the beholder.

Not uploading a photograph will make it easier to overlook your profile. Try to become honest and as particular as feasible about your likes, dislikes and about what you’re looking for in a partner. You no longer need to be alone simply because you can’t find a date in your neighborhood.

If you truly want to learn more about this topic, then I suggest you check out the web’s best resource on this, go to this site now!: how to get your ex girlfriend backhow to get girlfriend back and how to win your ex back advice.