So what is it that he is actually looking for, and since he won’t tell you himself, how are you expected to know this? Ought you phone him, or wait for him to call you? One thing is for certain, it doesn’t come with a rulebook- even if it should do. If you are in this for keeps what things should you know?
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• HE WANTS YOU TO BE ON HIS LEVEL: Sounds sort of straight forward when you think about it, but not all men have the same type of friendships as women do. Maybe he hasn’t really got anyone to talk to about his anxieties- if you can be the one he goes to for help and advice this could be the beginnings of a closer relationship.
• HE WANTS SOMEONE WHO REMAINS CALM WHEN HE’S UPSET: If he is upset or annoyed, it’s unhelpful to have the other person flying off the handle as well. Knowing how to diffuse situations is a canny skill many don’t have. You don’t have to take needless abuse, naturally, but it is more of a give and take thing.
• HE MIGHT NOT WANT TO CHANGE: Going on a mission to change someone is nearly always going to fail. What you see is probably what you will get. Try and understand that he is the way that he is and either you deal with it or move on.
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• HE WANTS YOU TO BE YOURSELF TOO!: On the other hand, you don’t want to let somebody dictate to you how to live your life either. If a man wants you to be a clone of how he thinks a woman ought to be, it’s time to think again.. Mostly, a man wants you to be the girl he chose when he met you. If you wish to have a career, extend your education etc then do it -he will respect you more for it.
• HE WANTS TO FEEL APPRECIATED: Nobody wants to be treated like part of the furniture. Make sure you still make time for each other and do the things together that first got you together. Do stuff he wouldn’t expect occasionally to keep him fresh – nice things that is!
• HE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT YOU: You can argue all you like about the little stuff, but make certain he knows you are there when he needs to lean on you.
• HE WANTS YOUR RESPECT: This can often be the hardest thing for you to do, but you have to be able to trust him to socialize with his friends, and do things without you, without becoming jealous. Whether you like it or not, there are going to be other women out there who will attract him sometimes, you need to believe in him enough that he will not let you down.
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