In an effort to help alleviate the stress of online dating, we surveyed our users to determine what daters are looking to get out of the experience. The survey’s were conducted over two different groups; one aimed at daters aged 40 and up and one aimed at the general population. Here are some of the results:

First Impressions. When deciding whether or not to contact someone, 42% of mature daters and 37% of general daters deemed a person’s profile description to be the most important factor. Other aspects that led to initial contact: location, appearance (based on photos) and age, in that order.

To wink or not to wink? Our online dating websites let users send “winks” in lieu of actual messages as a way to show interest, without having to actually write anything. But although the wink is a cheeky way to say hello, only 38% of daters are using it. More than half of users in both groups send introductory messages & making the extra effort to type a brief “hello” could actually help in the long run, as more than half of those surveyed prefered receiving a message over a wink or an instant chat invitation. Among the general population, 52% agreed that a short message was best, while about one-quarter liked longer notes sprinkled with interesting facts about the person.

Commitment. It may be tough to determine a potential match’s intentions via an online dating website, but the survey results reveal that most online daters are interested in starting a serious relationship. Only 21% of the general population is looking for something casual; the other 79% are in it for the long haul. Meanwhile, only 44% of mature daters are looking for something serious which is quite surprising: you saucy seniors!

Results. After the grueling process of weeding through potential matches, deciding whether to wink or message and establishing a flirtation, about one in five members eventually find success.

We often hear women say they don’t understand men & vice versa, but is the battle of the sexes real? After all, women often exhibit masculine qualities and men demonstrate a feminine side; aren’t we all a little bit of both? Of course there are no hard & fast rules that apply to everyone. However, in general, women are viewed as more emotional and sensitive, primarily concerned with communication and relationships, whereas men are known for being cool, inexpressive, physical and sexual, with a propensity to try to fix things, or resolve issues in a logical, matter of fact manner.

Men & women DO have different physiological components, i.e. brain patterns & chemistry; there are 78 genes in the Y chromosome that are different from those in the X chromosome, not to mention hormonal differences caused by the different levels of oestrogen & testosterone. Characteristically, men tend to process things logically, in black and white, whereas women do so sentimentally, in the grey area.

Society teaches men “big boys don’t cry”, ‘be tough,’ ‘take it like a man’. Anger is permitted but any evidence of a softer side is taboo. Yet look behind the strong facade and you’ll find someone stinging with the same insecurities, jealousy, hurt, and fear that women possess. Perhaps if men were encouraged to convey their full range of emotions, there’d be a lot less warring between individuals, as well as nations.

Women increase their esteem from keeping the family together, thriving in love and intimacy, whereas a man’s worth appears tied to his financial success. Consequently, the man may have to be more accountable and tolerate more in the workplace, as he can’t afford to leave or be fired from his job. Although things are changing, with more women having successful careers & some men choosing to stay at home with the children, traditionally, women still have to give birth & men really have little choice but to go to work & build a career.

These scenarios can often transfer to dating, where a man may feel interrogated by a lot of questions, especially regarding economic status. Women are notoriously attracted to success and if the guy wants to be appealing, his value often seemingly depends on being an achiever. A woman’s innocent interest in a man’s residence, career, or car, can brand her a gold digger. Consider that the reason she’s asking about your livelihood isn’t her desire to find a sugar daddy but an honesty curiosity into what makes you tick and what’s meaningful for you. Since men are so work oriented, they consider initial dates as a job interview, which in some sense is quite accurate. Men try to sell themselves, hoping to land the position of ‘mate.’ On the other hand, a man’s enquiries into a woman’s former marriage(s) or children may cause defensiveness on her part, for fear he’ll label her a failure, as her identity is linked to flourishing familial relationships.

Men are visual; women verbal. When a man sees someone alluring, he responds physically; women react emotionally. That’s why after making love, men can fall asleep, feeling fulfilled, while women want to continue the connection, through talking, touching, cuddling. Women fall faster; men harder. Women will speak of being in love after having sex once or twice: men just use those terms after knowing you on a deeper level. Men tend to be loners & go to a party alone or with a mate, Women are inclined to mix in groups.

If you’ve ever wondered why it’s difficult to get your guy to communicate with more than a grunt during his favourite sports program, while women can simultaneously watch TV, talk and do other activities? It’s because women are comfortable multi-tasking, whereas men prefer focusing on a single item.

Women have better memories for details, whereas men often forget birthdays and anniversaries. Men find comfort in solving problems and try to find solutions to their partners quandaries, even when they’re not looking for advice! Men try to resolve the problem, when it suffices for the women to be heard and acknowledged. Rather than trying to fix the dilemma presented, men can work wonders by practising active listening and subsequently being seen as understanding & caring.

Men and women also have different time clocks! If a woman doesn’t hear from you within a day or two, it’s like an eternity to her, but to a man it’s merely minutes. If a guy waits several days to call, she’s likely to have already built up irritation and resentment, evident by her tone of voice. Conversely, he can’t comprehend why she’s upset, given that to him, it’s only a short period of time that’s passed. Take into account that when a man doesn’t call you back right away, it may have nothing to do with you. He may simply be sorting out his thoughts as they do on Mars.

But, no matter Whether from Mars or Venus, we’re all looking to love and be loved.

There has been an increase in icebreaker usage with the launch of our new user interface and our “thanks, but no thanks” functionality has started generating more activity between members, which means more messages and engaged happy users!

Our Customer Care Team is dedicated to providing you with a 1st class service. We adjust our handling techniques to suit every individuals personality and needs and won’t end the call until the member leaves happy.

It’s nigh on impossible to meet someone who likes everything that you do & anyway, would you not want your partner to have some different interests that they can either do by themselves, or introduce you to?

However, dating someone who shares none of the interests or beliefs/personality traits that you do, is surely a recipe for failure!!! A recent study, published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, says when it comes to personality, people seek partners with their same qualities, but SAY they want someone who is different!

They seem to believe that people with opposite traits make for loving couples, but this new study is not supporting that belief.

To reach the conclusion, researchers quizzed 760 members of an online dating site to answer questionnaires regarding their personality traits, as well as the traits they would want in an ideal long-term partner. They then were asked if they most wanted a partner that complemented them, or resembled them.

The answers showed a preference for someone with the same sort of personality; the traits, which included neuroticism, extraversion, openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness, all had positive participant-to-partner correlations, ranging from .51 to .62.

“When asked about their preferences for a mate, people may partially draw upon lay theories of romantic attraction rather than their true desires for a mate,” Live Science quoted Pieternel Dijkstra, a professor at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands and the study’s lead researcher, as saying.

“Although many individuals occasionally feel attracted to ”opposites,” attractions between opposites often do not develop into serious intimate relationships and, when they do, these relationships often end prematurely,” she said.

The study also found that in addition to looking for a similar partner, women wanted men who were conscientious, outgoing, and emotionally stable, all traits that indicate an investment in the relationship and in any potential children.

However, “there were no particular traits that men seemed to prefer more than women,” Dijkstra said.

It seems that people are telling themselves that they think opposites should attract, but perhaps this well worn phrase should be completely discounted? Or perhaps it can relate to looks rather than personality?!

Related article, that you may find of interest Is He Still Interested In Me

To appear sad is the next thing that you should do. This is not a suggested course. When you are in despair, you write a lot of love letters, pester annoy them with lots of SMS or emails, and phone them no less than five times everyday. Unless your ex is an authentic wuss this will possibly  disgust them rather than seize your ex back.

The substitute to being desperate is the second route which is to act free. You can make people believe especially your ex that you are attainable after you have allotted him some freedom. Still converse with them by any ways or you can act that you can provide them comfort but do not persuade them to come back into a relationship with you.

Have strength and just keep on existing even if everything around you reminds you about your hardships but never let them notice it.

Do you need Love Making Tips and Love Questions Answered? Top Love & Dating Questions Answered Here

Just stick by to the original plan and you will surely get to the locations where your ex’s favourite lair. You’ll find some excuses to keep in touch with your ex, but not more than once for several days.

You can also send pals to him so they can ask him to make peace with you. Your pals can also help you by communicating with his friends so that they can aid you to patch things up. You can conspire with common friends to help fix things up.

However, if you think that making believe that you are free will not succeed, then there are other choices that you can do by being persuasive as your third plan. If you select this method, then you are inviting jealousy to settle in.

This third course could also be labelled “see your ex’s best friend” as that is one of the strategies tactics on this course.

What you will have  to do is transform  yourself as your ex’s ideal girl or guy and then go out with his pal. Once you get to the sites where your ex usually frequents, then you need to pay a lot of interest to your ex’s buddies.
Once you do settle a date with your ex’s pal, you should send a message to your ex and ask him what type  of bistro to make reservations at for your date. Make sure that your ex notices your effort that you are Drop messages to your ex that you are recovering from the loss and just wants to have a good time dating again.

The moment your ex notices this, he or she will come to grasp the idea that you are vital to him or her and would soon want you back. Bitterness  is a strong human emotion.

However, it is important that you approach these schemes cautiously as they can flop. In misleading your ex, make sure that you do not involve a lot of emotions unless you are ready to be hurt again. Only you can determine in case this plot is worth the end result it may bring you.

So, there are three methods on how to truly get your ex back.
If you are having other “man” issues I suggest that you check out The Magic Of Making Up, Ebook Review

Click Here For A Comprehensive Guide On What Women Men Adore

•    HE WANTS YOU TO BE ON HIS LEVEL: Sounds sort of straight forward when you think about it, but not all men have the same type of friendships as women do. Maybe he hasn’t really got anyone to talk to about his anxieties- if you can be the one he goes to for help and advice this could be the beginnings of a closer relationship.

•    HE WANTS SOMEONE WHO REMAINS CALM WHEN HE’S UPSET: If he is upset or annoyed, it’s unhelpful to have the other person flying off the handle as well. Knowing how to diffuse situations is a canny skill many don’t have. You don’t have to take needless abuse, naturally, but it is more of a give and take thing.

•    HE MIGHT NOT WANT TO CHANGE: Going on a mission to change someone is nearly always going to fail. What you see is probably what you will get. Try and understand that he is the way that he is and either you deal with it or move on.

•    The Woman Men Adore & Never Want To Leave Book Review

•    HE WANTS YOU TO BE YOURSELF TOO!: On the other hand, you don’t want to let somebody dictate to you how to live your life either. If a man wants you to be a clone of how he thinks a woman ought to be, it’s time to think again.. Mostly, a man wants you to be the girl he chose when he met you. If you wish to have a career, extend your education etc then do it -he will respect you more for it.

•    HE WANTS TO FEEL APPRECIATED: Nobody wants to be treated like part of the furniture. Make sure you still make time for each other and do the things together that first got you together. Do stuff he wouldn’t expect occasionally to keep him fresh – nice things that is!

•    HE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT YOU: You can argue all you like about the little stuff, but make certain he knows you are there when he needs to lean on you.

•    HE WANTS YOUR RESPECT: This can often be the hardest thing for you to do, but you have to be able to trust him to socialize with his friends, and do things without you, without becoming jealous. Whether you like it or not, there are going to be other women out there who will attract him sometimes, you need to believe in him enough that he will not let you down.

If you want to know more about what men really want just click on the following link Want To Know More About Men and Want They Want?

The couple’s split comes just six weeks after announcing their engagement – in April, the pair – who have two children, told OK! magazine that Henson flew Church to Cornwall by helicopter before proposing in a restaurant. At the time, Church said she was “absolutely joyous” and “really emotional”. The magazine claimed that Henson had secretly bought Church a two-carat heart-shaped diamond engagement ring while they were on holiday in Dubai in January.

A spokeswoman confirmed the couple had split up, but declined to comment further. It has been reported that Welsh rugby star Henson has flown to Spain with friends. Former child star Church, 24, recently returned to TV screens as a judge on Andrew Lloyd Webber’s talent show Over the Rainbow.

Across all ages 1 in 10 people in the UK often feel lonely, the Mental Health Foundation has found, a state which can impact upon one’s physical health. The charity highlights the decline of community and a growing focus on work.

Technology can isolate but is also an unrivalled means of connecting people, the poll of 2,256 people concludes.

The Lonely Society report described the generational differences uncovered in its survey as “striking”. Nearly 60% of those aged between 18 to 34 questioned spoke of feeling lonely often or sometimes, compared to 35% of those aged over 55.

But it is possible there are generational differences in the subjective interpretation of what it is to be lonely. In addition, the survey did not break down the differences between the active 55-year-old enjoying retirement and the frail, isolated 80-year-old.

The changing nature of the family, with fewer children who themselves often move away, has increased the prospect of elderly isolation. This has also become more likely as a result of longer life expectancies, the report noted. But neighbourhoods have also changed, with the local services such as post offices that tended to form the heart of old communities on the decline.

The report also found gender differences, with more women than men reporting loneliness, and more likely to feel depressed as a result. It highlighted the fact that the proportion of people living alone, both male and female, had doubled between 1972 and 2008.

Facebook era

New technology meanwhile may be both a boon and a burden, the report suggested. At one level, it has enabled people to make connections they might not otherwise have made, and virtual friendships can evolve into real-life relationships.

The report cites the example of the parenting website Netmums, which says that because of contacts made online 10,000 women meet face-to-face every month, reducing the sometimes intense sense of isolation new mothers can experience.

But there are also concerns that technology is being used as a replacement for genuine human interaction. Nearly a third of young people questioned for the report said they spent too much time communicating with friends and families online when they should see them in person. Whether this has any genuine biological impact is unclear, but it has been suggested that physical presence is needed for the hormone oxytocin to be released – believed to be the chemical process underpinning the relationship between social contact and healthy hearts.

Manhattan meetings

Sarah Brennan, head of the charity YoungMinds, said: “The young people we work with tell us that talking to hundreds of people on social networks is not like having a real relationship and when they are using these sites they are often alone in their bedrooms.

“Loneliness is a big problem which we need to start to tackle. In the last few years our communities have broken down and become atomised. We need to foster these relationships again and invest in our young people’s wellbeing so that they have somewhere to go or to turn to when they are feeling lonely.”

Dr Peter Byrne of The Royal College of Psychiatrists said the report challenged the perception that loneliness was restricted to isolated, elderly people, with its findings on the young. He added: “Economic changes that disrupt people’s work-life balance and family life, and send people hundreds of miles for work, are likely get worse during this recession. Openness about being lonely, and vulnerable friends and neighbours, is an important first step.”

But while many more of us may be living alone in cities, with some thought loneliness can be averted, the report suggested.

“For example, Manhattan in New York has 50% lone households, more than anywhere else in the United States, yet its ‘urban village’ model sustains social networks because people habitually use alternative meeting places, including cafes and public spaces,” the authors wrote. “According to evolutionary psychology, cities could in fact be our perfect environment because of the demands they make on our complex social brains, but only if they are well designed.”

This article was originally published on the BBC website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8701763.stm

You know you’re not supposed to comment on your girlfriend’s weight, or tell her that her friends are hot. And you know she probably feels the same way you do about the phrase, “Can we still be friends?”

Sometimes what you say in an attempt to defuse tension in an argument often makes things worse. The female psyche can be complicated, and perhaps the following might assist in demystifying her wrath, over what you thought was a perfectly innocent remark.

Here are 10 things most women don’t want to hear:

1. “What did you do to your hair?”

Unless we’ve cut our own hair — this is not common — someone else did something to our hair. It wasn’t us & we’ve probably gone to a lot of trouble and expense for that new look. “I like your new haircut” is infinitely better and shows you’re paying attention to her appearance. It’s also far superior to the generic “You look different,” which tells us you’re as clueless as ever.

2. “They both look the same to me.”

We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the soft furnishings we’re asking you to compare. But they can’t look exactly the same, can they? There must be something about one that’s more pleasing to the eye for you so just give an opinion/comment. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don’t worry about your vision — or worse, think that you don’t care!

3. “Relax.”

Almost as bad as “Don’t get so worked up” this generally creates the exact opposite effect you’re aiming for. When you say “Relax,” what we hear is that you think that we’re being irrational over nothing and this makes us do anything but relax.

4. “I’ve got it all under control.”

Ha! Famous last words. Avoid using this phrase if you don’t want us to take fiendish delight in getting lost because you won’t stop for directions (if we’re late, because of this, not the fact that we were late getting ready) there will be hell to pay), or because you’re missing a piece to your flat-pack furniture because you said you didn’t need to read the assembly instructions beforehand.

5. “You’re not one of those feminists, are you?”

Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity. Although giving up your seat on public transport if you think someone is pregnant could result in the same issue as the following item!

6. “When are you due?”

Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, “I’m not pregnant,” or “I had the baby six months ago,” and you’ll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent — even considerate — curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there’s just no way to recover from this one.

7. “You’re being emotional.”

It is a fact that women think more emotionally than men & in the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you’re better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question — “Is  it your time of month?” — to yourself.

8. “You’re acting just like my ex-girlfriend.”

An ex should be mentioned sparingly and never in comparison with your current lady. No matter if we are behaving like her, it’s not intentional – after all, why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope – now you’ve added the possibility of suspicion into our mind!

9. “You complete me.”

We’ve seen “Jerry Maguire” and most other romantic comedies much more than you and while we may (or may not) like cheesy movie lines, they usually fail in real life. We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man’s mouth, but rather than get caught out rehashing a movie line, try to keep the compliments real, honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.

10. “Do you really think you should be eating that?”

Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you previously that she’s given it up.

No matter how irrational it may sound – you can’t help thinking that this relationship was your one true love, the big thing, the “one” & you are absolutely sure that no-one that you meet from now on could possibly touch your heart in the same way your ex did. They were the love of your life & your last chance for true love and these feelings can be further compounded if you were married – after all, they promised you they’d be around forever, didn’t they?

But although it’s natural to feel a whole range of negative emotions after a break-up, don’t wallow in bitterness forever; that should be a phase to be worked through, not a lifestyle choice. If you hold every person you meet accountable for what one person in the past did to make you unhappy, you will miss out on many enjoyable relationships. Not only that, but every person is different, so try not to superimpose your exes reactions/habits/behaviour over a new partner.This can definitely be the case if you try to get back into dating too soon i.e. on the rebound. The new people you meet can then just be the recipient of all your anger & bitterness about your ex, but they’ve done nothing to you, so why take it out on them?!

So, how to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, start putting them back together & enjoy the benefits of being a single person again?

The first thing you need to do is to try and ascertain where abouts you are in the healing process.

1. Feelings of shock, confusion, betrayal and self doubt
You don’t understand how everything went so wrong. Everytuhing seemed to be going ok & it all just fell apart. I thought we were happy, where did it go wrong? What did I do wrong? Why didn’t he/she feel the same as me? Why couldn’t he/she see what they were doing was hurting me so much? You’re bound to feel an overwhelming range of different emotions at this time, even if you were the one doing the breaking up. Either way, you just lost someone who you thought was going to be around for a lot longer than they were – it’s natural to panic and get upset.

2. Blame yourself and be miserable
This usually happens a day or two after the break up. You can’t even get yourself off the sofa, let alone think about doing anything constructive or thinking rationally. Instead, you start wringing your hands and wishing that you could have said or done something differently. You start doubting why you ended it & thinking that maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. You drown yourself in wine, chocolate, crying etc. It’s ok to grieve for your relationship, just don’t let it spiral out of control; accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. (Easier said than done, I know) After a few days of indulging in your misery, it’s time to move on to stage three.

3. Clear out your life
Pack up any photos and objects that remind you of your ex. Box them up and chuck them in the loft, or at the back of the cupboard – it’s possible at a later point in your life that you’ll be able to look back at them with fondness – but not now; all they will do is keep your head & heart in the past & extend stage 2 for longer than necessary. Make a list of things you’ve been meaning to do – it might be a hobby that you really enjoyed, but haven’t had a chance to do lately because your partner didn’t like it. Think of all that spare time you have to enjoy, now that you aren’t putting all your energy into trying to save a failing relationship!

4. Get your act together!
Smarten yourself up a bit. Make an effort. All the misery and slobbing around at home is starting to make you unattractive! Get some exercise, a haircut and some new clothes. Present the best version of yourself possible, even looking at yourself in the mirror & telling yourself you look good will boost your self esteem no end. Give your friends a call and get back out on the town – they’ll be more than happy to see a bit more of you!

5. Get yourself out there!
You may not feel like getting seriously involved with anyone else at the moment, but why do relationships have to be that way? You don’t have to dive headlong into a full on relationship, just becasue that’s what you remember! Surely new liasions don’t always have to lead to everlasting love to be worthwhile having? Date around a bit – go out with your single friends more and cast your net a little further by giving online dating a try – you’ll get outside of your normal circle, meet people you could never have hoped to meet in life – and best of all, they’re unlikely to know your ex!!!

Dating people is one of the plusses of being single – you can go out and have fun with a different person every night without feeling guilty. There really is no need to fall into the ‘single and lonely’ category these days! If you have been in a relationship for so long that you’ve forgotten how to date – don’t worry – one of the benefits of dating online is that you can progress the relationship in your own time and really get to know about the person before you meet them.

So once you’ve broke up, been miserable, glamed up and got back in the dating game, you’ll soon find that the old adage is true – there are plenty of fish in the sea after all.